Nalini Ben’s Story
Nalini ben is from Savrastra, a very backward area. She explained that the society there is extremely conservative, and people are entrenched into social customs. Since childhood she excelled in her studies…’ I was always top of the class’. Even so, Nalini ben always thought she would be a housewife. It was her husband that pushed her into teaching, and her students that gradually built up her confidence in teaching. Now she could not imagine being in any other profession.
Nalini ben was teaching at HK Arts college where she met Ila ben Pathak (AWAG founder). She explains, ‘I had so many questions in my mind whilst I was growing up to which nobody could give me an answer. It was only after meeting Ila ben that my questions were answered. She answered all my questions about life, and then we became friends.’…‘In the 1980’s when I was pregnant with my daughter, Ila ben always discussed with me the idea of AWAG. I remember we discussed the name, the concept and then in 1981 it was started.’
Most memorable event at AWAG
‘In 1994 Ila ben phoned me and said “Nalini, would you like to come to Bhavngar for police training?”. I had to take one class only, but I watched many of the other. In one of the sessions, one male police officer stood up and said “there is no need for counselor in the police station”. Ila ben then explained that the role of Counselor and the role of a Police Man is different. “The way that police counsel her is in the same way that neighbors, relatives and friends do.” Then a female officer stood up and said to the male officer ‘”remember that time you counseled a girl and went home, you were bragging about how you had helped her, and then she committed suicide after 10 days”. Ila ben again repeated “that is why the counselors role is different, so please I urge to to refrain from counselling any ladies coming into the police station.” The female police officer then went on to recall another two or three incidents when the same thing had happened, whilst the male police officer began crying and accepted responsibility for the incidents. I remember that day as if it was yesterday. I remember Ila ben’s strength in delivering her point, how there was so much emotion in that room, and how the whole room shifted their views about the topic of counselling.’
Recent Work
‘I have been working on a research project with the University of Lincoln. We have been looking at the type of invisible violence that occurs when women are abandoned after marriage by non-residential Indian men. We have theorised this as a “new type of violence”. When women get injured through domestic violence, it is possible to complain and show bruises, but when women are abandoned and cannot fulfill their marital rights, they are left hopeless. There is also no law at present to stop this transnational marriage abandonment. Alongside AWAG’s goal, and my own research expertise, I took this project on board. It will be published soon.’